I had not reason to be a jerk to Mr. Sewell. I was young, dumb, and thought I needed to be cool. At one point in class I literally told him, "Do substitute teachers count as real teachers?" The class laughed, and I was cool for about 30 seconds. On his third day with us, while sitting there reading, I looked at Mr. Sewell. It was as if it was only us two in the room. While the class pondered the story, I made eye contact with Mr. Sewell. I was frozen. Expecting an angry look, what I received was more a look of grace. A slight squint with a closed smile. Regret emerged in me. A feeling I seldom felt up to that point in my life. I realized that I was "off", I had acted in a way that brought someone down, instead of up. I abused my leadership power.
Leadership is like a super power, except we all have it. Its not like X-Men where some people can fly or use their telepathic powers while everyone else remains just a puny human. Nope. We all have the ability to use our God given powers. We can use them for good, bad, or not use them at all. I used mine horribly. By the time Mr. Sewell became my substitute teacher, I somehow knew I had influence in the classroom. I had leadership. At that time I figured I could use my influence to humiliate him to win cool points. I used my "power" for bad. In contrast, I believe I could have made Mr. Sewell feel like an amazing substitute teacher. I could have briefed him on his first day on the ins and outs of the classroom, and what we were studying. But I did not.
Realizing that I was “off” I apologized to Mr. Sewell on his last day with us."Sorry for being a jerk to you, you dont deserve to be treated how I treated you." I told Mr. Sewell.
He responded. "It’s ok Enrique, just try to be mindful of how you treat people. You're a good kid."
It is important for leaders young, old, to realize that they have the "superpower" of influence. That is why the way you treat people matters. I recently had lunch with Wallace, an attorney in my office. He shared with me this story.
"My clients pay me to help them find great business people to invest or partner with them. I help put together very big deals. When someone is serious and tells me they want in on the deal, I ask them out to dinner. I will take a red eye across the country, and treat them to the nicest place in town. I will order an expensive wine, appetizers and dinner, and talk with them about the deal. Funny thing is, I know the deal inside out, and could care less about the millions of dollars the person is trying to make. I pay attention to how they treat people. Do they acknowledge and thank the servers? Do they complain as if the world needs to provide them with the adequate amount of sauce for their entree? You can tell a lot about how a person will do business with you by how they treat others. Why do I fly cross country to find out a persons character? Other than the fact that I am possibly saving my client thousands if not millions of dollars. Because it matters, man. If the high roller across from me treats the server like crap, I believe he may eventually treat our business like crap, so I am prone to be hesitant to do business with them. So far that pillar in my life has shown me a lot in business."
I can think of many other times where I was "off". Im sure I am not alone in that. It’s important for leaders to be mindful of their daily interactions with people. David Foster Wallace, the novelist gave the Kenyon College address called, "This Is Water". It will give you a great perspective on how we maneuver through our day to day lives.
What are some ways in which you use your influence for good?
I would love for you to go to my facebook page to share with me your answer to the question above.
Thanks for reading!
Remember Leadership Matters
Editor Holly. H.
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