Leadership Matters -- Leadership Bound - When Did Your Leadership Switch Click On?

Sophomore Year High School 

        "Pass the joint Enrique you are taking too long!" Ruben would yell at me. Coughing up my lungs, I would pass the joint. Ruben the supplier, Michael the jock, Eric the quarterback, a couple others and myself, the goodie good, would find different spots to smoke after school: cars, peoples backyards, even the school bathrooms. Looking back at it all  seems like a blurr... maybe because I was high! Day-in and day-out I gave into the ridiculous notion that I was "Cool," "Accepted," shoot I even thought I was cared about. But none of those things where the case. I had no vision, I had no sense of purpose. My leadership switch was "off."

At home I had a great  situation going, my parents loved me, and provided me with tools to get ahead in life (AKA discipline). I had two brothers who were super dang smart! My older brother was the first to attend college, my younger brother went on to be president of our high school! Then you had me, the punk middle child, who has a defensive problem and that gets mad for the dumbest things. Oh and I hung out with not the best people. What was I doing? The motivational speaker, entrepreneur Jim Rohn said,

 

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."

         Mr. Rohn hit the nail on the head, I was that average person! What Mr. Rohn says carries a lot of truth and should not be taken lightly. If you would have asked me who my friends where sophomore year of high school, I would have told you a hand full of names. But for the most part, you would have gotten the idea that I was one of those kids in high school that gets high and is decent at sports. Wow, what a leader! I think its safe to say we all go through some kind of stage that we are not proud of. The hope is that we come out the other side, or come to Jesus at some point. For me it was more like a "learn from Jesus moment."

Learning From Jesus

Jesus, my older older brother, came home with his college acceptance letter. St Lawrence University, in Canton New York. "Dang son you up in the big leagues now!" I exclaimed. No man, its just a good thing someone accepted me, he replied. My mom crying in the  background. My dad holding the letter in his hand as if it were gold. 

Things got real for my family, all of a sudden we had the first Ruiz going to college. My father who obtained an 8th grade education, and my mother who finished high school, where both in the room filled with joy. Tears ran down my mothers face, and my dad had a calm spirit of joy. This was great, this was the American dream becoming real. And, I'm over here getting high with a bunch of people who don't give two bananas about me! Talk about getting some perspective. That night I checked out St. Lawrence online. I was in aw! As I checked out the site, I thought to myself,

"Will  I go to college?

What will I study? 

What  the hell am I doing to get into college?

I wonder if Esteban (my younger brother) will look up to me if I  don't go to college?"

Flipping The Switch

         In that moment I was convicted to be better. I did not know at the time that being Convicted to be a better leader, is a feeling that is parallel to the feeling of being in trouble, or feeling scared. You can't just sit there, you have to move, you have to change. Ever since Jesus got accepted into college, I knew that I had to get things on track. I knew I had to set a good example for my younger brother. My Leadership switch clicked ON! We all deal with the pressures of being cool and being accepted. The thing that leaders should keep in mind is that, your best self is yourself. And that you should surround yourself with people who bring the best out of you.

• Can you look back to a time where you made a choice to be better? 
• Can you look back at a time where you switched your leadership switch to ON?
• What did that look like? 
• How did that feel?

I would love for you to go to my facebook page to share with me your answer to the question above. 

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Leadership-Matters/267483723412066?ref=hl

Thanks for  reading!

Remember Leadership Matters

Leadership Matters - Dissing Leadership - How You Use YourLeadershipPower is Important.

Have you ever been a jerk? I remember the first time I was a jerk to a person in a position of leadership. I was in 7th grade, I had a substitute teacher, Mr. Sewell. Mr. Sewell was an old, gray haired, tall man.  We were studying a wack ancient story, and I just didn't like the class. Looking back now, I think its safe to say I was the one who was wack!

I had not reason to be a jerk to Mr. Sewell. I was young, dumb, and thought I needed to be cool. At one point in class I literally told him, "Do substitute teachers count as real teachers?" The class laughed, and I was cool for about 30 seconds. On his third day with us, while sitting there reading, I looked at Mr. Sewell. It was as if it was only us two in the room. While the class pondered the story, I made eye contact with Mr. Sewell. I was frozen. Expecting an angry look, what I received was more a look of grace. A slight squint with a closed smile. Regret emerged in me. A feeling I seldom felt up to that point in my life. I realized  that I  was "off", I had acted in a way that brought someone down, instead  of up. I abused my leadership power.

Leadership is like a super power, except we all have it. Its not like X-Men where some people can fly or use their telepathic powers while everyone else remains just a puny human. Nope. We all have  the ability to use our God given powers. We can use them for good, bad, or not use them at all. I used mine horribly. By the time Mr. Sewell became my substitute teacher, I somehow knew I had influence in the classroom. I had leadership. At that time I figured I could use my influence to humiliate him to win cool points. I used my "power" for bad. In contrast, I believe I could have made Mr. Sewell feel like an amazing substitute teacher. I could have briefed him on his first day on the ins and outs of the classroom, and what we were studying. But I did not.

Realizing that I was “off” I apologized to Mr. Sewell on his last day with us."Sorry for being a jerk to you, you dont deserve to be treated how I treated you." I told Mr. Sewell. 

He responded. "It’s ok Enrique, just try to be mindful of how you treat people. You're a good kid."

It is important for leaders young, old, to realize that they have the "superpower" of influence. That is why the way you treat people matters. I recently had lunch with Wallace, an attorney in my office. He shared with me this story. 

"My clients pay me to help them find great business people to invest or partner with them. I help put together very big deals. When someone is serious and tells me they want in on the deal, I ask them out to dinner. I will take a red eye across the country, and treat them to the nicest place in town. I will order an expensive wine, appetizers and dinner, and talk with them about the deal. Funny thing is, I know the deal inside out, and could care less about the millions of dollars the person is trying to make. I pay attention to how they treat people. Do they acknowledge and thank the servers? Do they complain as if the world needs to provide them with the adequate amount of sauce for their entree? You can tell a lot about how a person will do business with you by how they treat others. Why do I fly cross country to find out a persons character? Other than the fact that I am possibly saving my client thousands if not millions of dollars.  Because it matters, man. If the high roller across from me treats the server like crap, I believe he may eventually treat our business like crap, so I am prone to be hesitant to do business with them. So far that pillar in my life has shown me a lot in business."

  I can think of many other times where I was "off". Im sure I am not alone in that. It’s important for leaders to be mindful of their daily interactions with people. David Foster Wallace, the novelist gave the Kenyon College address called, "This Is Water". It will give you a great perspective on how we maneuver through our day to day lives. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiyY4t7WbnU

What are some ways in which you use your influence for good? 

I would love for you to go to my facebook page to share with me your answer to the question above. 

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Leadership-Matters/267483723412066?ref=hl

Thanks for  reading!

Remember Leadership Matters

Editor Holly. H.

Leadership Matters -- Last Supper Leadership -- Transformational Leadership Moment

      

Picture Credit http://www.jaydax.co.uk/lastsupper/lastsupp.jpg

You will hear about Bill Saul frequently in my stories. Bill is one of the most influential people in my life. I think of him as family, and I would not be the person I am today if it was not for Bill. As you grow in your leadership you will see a trail of people who have helped form you into the person you look at in the mirror today. Some people may have been in your life since a young age, others may have been your high school counselor, or maybe you went to a conference and the speaker made you want to lead just like them! No matter who the person is, you can pinpoint them as a person of influence in your life. I want to take you to one of the most  powerful moments of  my life, but first let me make a connection:

       Have you ever wondered what  the last supper was like for the disciples? Can you imagine Jesus, "Hey fellas it was great to kick it with you all, but I gotta dip." If I was a disciple I would be trippin’. The main dude/God who has been changing the game for the last few years is telling me he's leaving. All while he's cracking bread, and pouring wine, telling me to remember him"  What! We know today that after Jesus came back from the dead, the disciplines went on to continue the mission of Christ. I think it's fair to say they each had leadership traits and skills which helped them become change agents. But most importantly I think it was because of their relationship with Christ. Jesus was with them, he loved them, even if they betrayed him (punk Judas!). When he came back, they were completely sold out for him.

Bill and I a year ago.

I had a last supper moment not to long ago.

     I was at Bill's 60th birthday party. We were downstairs in a private room of a fancy restaurant. Peggy, Bill's wife invited Bills closest homies, people from all stages of his life, childhood, college, career, and family. Peggy also decided to print pictures of Bill and create collages of those different stages of life. People walked around the room reminiscing about Bill's life. It was as if Bill's life was art and we were just taking in the greatness of a life well lived. Eventually everyone sat down to eat. Peggy kicked off the night with a toast to her husband, and opened the floor for others to speak.

This is where it starts to feel like the last supper.

        Every person in the room shared a story about Bill, he had been a great friend to everyone in the room. People told stories of him and how he had been a great companion, friend, and partner in crime! People cried, laughed, it was surreal almost as if it was Bill's last supper. In that moment I told myself want this. It was a beautiful life being recognized for being just that, beautiful. It just so happened that a leader was behind it all.   

    This night was divine. I changed the way I think about leadership in a plethora of ways. I understand now how the disciples felt with Jesus! I learned how powerful it can be for a person to be intentional in loving others. No one in the room said ‘I Love Bill’ because he made me a lot of money. Or ‘I love Bill because he lied all the time!’

Quite the opposite, people loved Bill, because Bill loved them. He was with people in their highs and lows. He serves people without expecting anything in return. Bill exemplified what servant leadership ought to look like. (pause) Bill is human and has his faults like all of us. I hope you get the point though.

Thoughts came to mind like, "Who will be at my 60th birthday party? What kind of pictures will I have on the walls? What will people say about me? If I want that kind of celebration, am I doing the kinds of things today that will help me get to that moment. Here are some thoughts to help you think about your 60th birthday:

• Who are your best friends today? Do they appreciate you or depreciate you?
• How do you serve the people you love?
• When stuff gets crazy, do you support your homies?
• What do you want your husband / wife to say during their toast?
• What kind of story do you want your pictures to tell around the room.

    I deeply believe that if you dive into these questions you will tap into your life, goals, family, friends. But most importantly your leadership!

I would love for you to go to my facebook page to share with me your answer maybe one of the questions above, and the reason for your answer.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Leadership-Matters/267483723412066?ref=hl

Thanks for reading.

Remember, Leadership Matters!

 Editor Holly. H.

Leadership Matters - How do we see our David in front of a Goliath world? Why its important to think positively.

    We’ve all felt it, doubt. That moment when you think to yourself. “I could never do that!” Or, “ Yeah right, of course Joe Shmoe is going to win the competition, I am not going to apply.” This happens to all people, young and old. It is an internal negative look on external things put in front of us. Lets call it the “Hell no” reaction. The last time I had the Hell No feeling was when I heard of a job opening at Intel. A friend told me about it, "You need to apply! He exclaimed. I immediately told myself, “Hell No!”. Then I went off and found reasons why I was not fit for the job. Eventually the job went away. Duh, right! Jobs don't stay open forever. I defeated myself. I could lose to others but to myself? What kinds of crap is that?

    I played sports in high school, and believe it or not, I hated losing. "Hell no" was nowhere to be found, it was actually the opposite problem. I was never very good at sports, but I hated to lose. Deep down in my core I could hear voices telling me that I could win. “I can get off the line of scrimmage faster than my opponent”, I would tell myself. “I can get to the quarterback”! The biggest issue was that my body literally didn't have the muscle to perform at the level I wanted. I played defensive end for four years. When I was a junior, our seniors were undefeated and we went to the quarter finals, we ultimately lost because of the lack of leadership from the seniors, (but thats another blog post) Sounds fun right? Well it wasn't. I had my butt handed to me all season, being used as the dummy for all the drills. The next year I was pretty good. Half way through the season Nathan Bratzel, our top defensive end, failed a class. Guess who all of a sudden had to start on Friday nights? This guy! By then I had a little more muscle, but on top of  that I had developed the mental capacity to believe in myself. My first football coach called me a late bloomer (Im still am figuring that one out), but in regards for football, I had bloomed. I was pretty good. I was still not the all-star I imagined myself to be, but at least I wasn't  jumping off sides every time I got on the field!

"Effort is one of the roots available to the underdog. I can outwork you. I may not be able to outspend you. But I can outwork you." Malcolm Gladwell

Malcolm Gladwell hits the nail on the head. I never had fancy cleats, cool new clothes, or the the stash of pre workout supplements to help my efforts on the field. However I did have the mental ability to push harder. I stayed longer, ran longer, and put more effort into my workouts than anyone. Actually Sean Deloney and Nathan Palmer pushed pretty hard as well, but you get the point.

    All leaders will reach times where "Hell No" gets a hold of them. And it sucks right? We can’t control it because we’re human. Applying for jobs, college, committing to relationships. You decide before you have a shot, "Nope can’t do____ "'. We believe deeply in our abilities, and other times we don't. When I first heard of the Intel job I had one of those "Hell No" moments. What changed? Nothing really, except the way I think. About a month later another Intel job opened up, this time I didn't have a "Hell  No" moment. I thought about the opportunity through a positive filter. Shawn Achor, in his book The Happiness Advantage, talks about the positive effect in peoples lives when we focus our brains to think positively. This time the job was a perfect fit. I knew I was qualified, but more than my qualifications I knew I was the person for the job. So I applied, and I have been working hard to not give Intel any reason for not hiring me.

    What is your "Hell No"? Lets turn it into “Hell Yes!” Write down 3 goals you are thinking about, they can be anything, small things, big things. My three things are

• Getting in the best shape of my life.
• Reading everyday at least 30 minutes.
• Sending a thank you everyday.

    When you think about your goals, tell yourself the thing that Russell Wilson, the leader of the Seattle Seahawks, told his team before their  Super Bowl winning season began.

"Why not us?"

So why not you?

Remember David defeated Goliath

Take your three goals and own them, because at the end of the day your leadership matters. Your development matters. And being positive gives you an advantage.

Share your goals on my Leadership Matters Page on Facebook

 Editor Holly. H

Link to interview of Malcolm Gladwell talking about his book David and Goliath

http://www.inc.com/issie-lapowsky/idea-lab-malcolm-gladwell-what-entrepreneurs-can-learn.html

Link to Book The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor

http://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Advantage-Principles-Psychology-Performance/dp/0307591549/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1391998938&sr=1-1&keywords=the+happiness+advantage